Reading Eagle 2001 by Tracy Rasmussen
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Beth Gonzalez spends her days building castles in the sand, re-arranging furniture in her doll house and racing matchbox cars up and down the carpet. 

She has much in common with the children who play with her in her huge playroom crammed with every imaginable toy, except one thing.  Gonzalez is an adult. 

But as one of the state’s dozen or so licensed play therapists, it’s her job to use play to get children to deal with difficult issues in their lives. 

Play isn’t just therapeutic; it’s also therapy.

While many children (and adults) feel relaxed while playing in the sand tray or building with blocks, Gonzalez uses the experience as an opportunity to get beneath the relaxation to a place where children can express emotions that are difficult or frightening.

“The playroom has its own rules” said Gonzalez , founder and executive director of FairView Counseling in Reading.  “We’re in a contained space where they know its OK for them to act out.  The rules are they cannot hurt themselves or me.”

Play Therapy, Gonzalez said, is effective for children from about 2 ½ years old through adolescence and can even be helpful to adults.

The therapy approaches the child at this developmental level and provides an environment where the child feels safe to speak.  Tools include puppets, games, creative arts, role play and the very popular sand tray.

“Most children are drawn to it,” Gonzalez said of a large tray of sand with shovels and rakes. 

“Younger kids use it just for play while older kids will use it as a way to relax them so they can express themselves.”

One 8-year-old boy use the sand tray to express the separation he felt from his mother and sister following a car accident.

His injuries were minor so he was sent to a different hospital than his mother and sister, who were more critically injured. 

When he was sent home from the hospital he was having trouble sleeping due to nightmares and was wetting his bed.

It could easily be assumed this trauma was caused by the accident itself.  But during his play in the sand tray, Gonzalez noticed he kept burying his family figures in the sand.  That told her his fear was more about not knowing how his mother and sister were when he could not see them.

Also using the sand tray, she was able to help him understand that people can be physically separated but still be fine.

 “We knew that all these people were still there, even though they were under the sand,” she said.  “So even though he knew it, by seeing it in the sand tray he could really feel that this was true.”

After he was able to make this connection, his nightmares stopped, Gonzalez said.

“That’s when I said this is really amazing stuff,” she said. “Very powerful.”

Gonzalez said children use the sand tray (and all of the toys and games) as a starting point to express themselves, and she helps them along.

Families can watch the play through a two-way mirror and the experience can be discussed.

“Everybody has to be on the same page,” she said.  “I work with the parents too.”

For instance, if a parent has a problem with his or her child using the toy guns that are in her playroom, Gonzalez will remove them before the child enters the room.

“I respect their wishes,” she said.

Parents though, don’t always know what is causing the child’s behavior. 

Issues such as anger, guilt, grief and fear can manifest themselves in many different ways, and parents aren’t always aware of how much children absorb.

“We deal with a lot of divorce and separation issues,” Gonzalez said.  “And happy families don’t get divorced.  Children feel things just through their intuition.  It affects them.”

For instance, if parents don’t discuss an impending divorce, or offer assurances to the children, they often feel angry or sad.

“They feel it’s their fault,” she said.  “Mom and Dad don’t have to talk about the details, but kids do feel what’s going on in the house.  A lot of times those feelings can be worked out.”

Play therapy can be helpful to children who are grieving the loss of a loved one or having trouble in school, too.

“Children can put things into objects more easily than they can put things into words,” Gonzalez said.

A child who is feeling smothered by a parent or situation can mimic how he feels by tightly hugging a stuffed animal or burying objects in the sand tray.  Children who need nurturing can act as babies in a game of house.

As an illustration, Gonzalez tells of a child who may have been locked in a closet by an angry, abusive parent.  The hild may take a figure and put it in a cage and then have a robot come to save it. 

“In that act they are showing you what happened to them, but they are also showing hope,” she said.  “Younger children will talk in fantasy.” 

But, she said, they will always find a way to tell an adult what’s wrong.

“When children are throwing furniture, they are trying to tell you something.” Gonzalez said.

It’s her job to help parents figure out what that is.

And, she said, while the results can be stunning, there is often some regression.

“When things come up and we get into the real work some behaviors get worse,” she said.  “But then they improve.”

That’s why it’s important that the whole family be involved in therapy.

Gonzalez can also help parents learn to play better with their children.  The added bonus is that the parents can re-connect with that time in their lives too. 

“A lot of it is about talking the same language as your child,” she said.  “Playing is their natural medium.  It’s how they work things out and how they learn things.”